There I was casually strolling down Westside Neighborhood on a Wednesday afternoon between classes. I had just purchased a KC tank from local shop, Westside Storey, feeling a little bit gloomy only moments before as I sat on the outside covered patio of Westside Local having a glass of Tempranillo, when I saw it. "What?!" you ask. This!! I saw this magazine, The Pitch, with a picture of me on the front cover. I literally grabbed one and scrummaged through the pages until I got to the article that had featured my yoga studio and two other studios in Kansas City. I was floored! I was honored! I was overwhelmed with joy! (Sorry about all the exclamation points, but I'm trying to make a point here.) I got this instant high. I then ran back inside the store and showed the cashier and laughed hysterically as I told him that was me. He looked half amused as I continued practically skipping away. Ok. Maybe I did actually skip out of the store. Haha Oh yeah, between all of that I took a picture and I posted it on every known social media in existence. After a quick text of joy to my partner, I slowly began to settle down, but on the drive back every time I looked down at my passenger's seat, there I was looking up.
It really got me thinking. As I continued to look at myself looking up in the photo, I found myself at a very different emotional place once I arrived back to the studio. My face looked so calm, Sabrina even managed to capture the hope in my gaze. This brought me back to why I was feeling “gloomy” right before I saw this magazine. Earlier at Westside Local, I was asking question after question with no real answers to: 1. Did I make the right decision? 2. Did I do what was best for my family? 3. Was I really impacting people and helping people become better, stronger, healthier, and empowered? I promise you there were many more questions asked during that hour of solitude hovering over my computer. To not realize I would receive the answer only minutes away, yet, what would I do now with this answer?
So here it is…I realized the importance of sharing your struggle to let others know they are not alone, but to also have a solution ready if asked for help. I realized the importance of reminding yourself every day why you do what you do, because without strong values then you are often a floating boat going in any direction the wind blows you. This boat also happens to be in a vast ocean, so you may never actually reach to shore. Or perhaps, even worse, without the external wind moving you, you may be floating still. Lastly, when you don’t receive that “sign” telling you the Universe is on your side, do not doubt. Do not cower. Do not be afraid. In this moment these words from A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson mean so much more, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”